Pain

I find it so hilarious sometimes.

Why should I care about others' lives? I don't get anything if they are healthy, or even if they are sick.

I trust that everyone has a choice, and sometimes even though we know what the choice will lead to, we still cannot do anything about it. Because they will not listen.

So you stand there, you see how they go through it. They bang the wall, sometimes they bang the wall over and over again, then come back, blame God blame everyone around, and still, never learn.

Their pride has blinded them, they are bigger than anyone else, the self is bigger than anything in the world.

But who am I to judge? I am nothing.

I am that one that banged the wall before, and still is, sometimes. I am no better. But seeing people keep doing it over and over again, made me feel so helpless. Helplessly pained. Secretly I want to help.

Sometimes I would rather I am fooled, that I don't know this. Then I won't feel so pained, then I wouldn't need to care, why do I need to care anyway. It has nothing to do with me. That is not my life that they are losing, that it has nothing at all to do with me... Nothing.

I will not be credited if they are good, I will not be blame if they are bad.

Give it away, let it go, and move on. Don't try to help, they wouldn't want it